On December 3rd, I experienced something that I didn’t think could happen but did. I had a heart attack while at the gym. I tried to shake it off but knew I needed to go the the Immediate Care across the street. Let me just say this, it is difficult to talk about what happened because it is a heart defect, not something I did to myself. In fact, when the angiogram was performed, no plaque was found – that’s a good thing, right? But what does it say? It says I have a bad valve complicated with AFib (Atrial Fibrillation). All the tests and the wearing of a fancy heart monitor helped my cardiologist bring my situation to understanding. I’m very grateful for technology and Dr. Ali.
I want to share something that I experienced through all this. I had a reaction to the medications where my blood pressure dropped significantly and scared quite a few folks, me included. While this room full of professionals were working on me, I remember asking the nurse on my right to hold my hand and she obliged, but I didn’t feel connected. I then asked the nurse on my left to hold my left hand, and she obliged me. IMMEDIATELY I felt connected to the universe and that I would be whole. You could feel the energy of life go demonstrably through you. It’s as if your soul and your body rose up to be present to all in the room. I remember telling them that they needed to get me to my son’s wedding on NYE. I am eternally grateful to these young people for their professionalism and ability to get me to his wedding.
I’m so grateful to my friend Lynne who so selflessly took care of me till my husband arrived. She has a medical back ground and helped to ask the questions I didn’t know to ask. I’m so grateful to my husband and my family. God bless my husband, he was there through it all. My daughter lived with us almost the entire month of December away from her husband, to help us. It was a special distraction to have our grandson provide us with his joy. My son and his now wife, helped me to keep my mind off of what happened and concentrate on their wedding.
I re-read last year’s post on being grateful. I am reposting that again because it is so true and happened again in those difficult medical events….
It’s a certain moment in your life that an answer comes to you in the most difficult of times, the ones in which you turn your prayers and being over to God. I have never been denied an answer from God in those moments. It’s as if you’ve been touched by the Spirit, a hand pressed to the heart leaving wisdom.
I always thought I was grateful but it certainly is obvious to me that I am not. The answer to my moment of turning everything over to God was, “Be grateful in all that you do.”
This past year I would say to myself, “Just be grateful”, when people were cruel, or when work was overtly challenging, or things didn’t go the way I wanted them to. What I didn’t do often, was BE GRATEFUL when kindness was present, or extraordinary people came my way, or the sun shone for 50 minutes.
This year the challenge is to LIVE GRATEFUL for all things.